Undecided 

I’m emotional 

I’m tired

I want to reach out…. 

But what could I say

We beguile one another with stories of everyday encounters 

And in between share sobering moments with one another

What are we doing? 

Who are we fooling?! 

I kept you a great distance away because I know what would happen 

And I know full well how things would play out. 

However like those before you, you wore me down

I find my thoughts revolving around you and myself looking forward to midnight talks I haven’t the energy for. 

Yet night after night I fight sleep, just to hear your voice and have our famous talks. 

As I listen to your voice that’s like a melody to my ears,  I am compelled to compliment you and without thought I do. 

There’s a chemistry that’s undeniable and a sexual attraction that is maddening to me. 

Your intoxicating in a way that words can’t describe. 

I want no one other than you to share myself with. 

I prayed for clarity on the matter and I suppose I have received my response……

Maybe it’s best we never were and potentially never be…. 

I’ll chalk this up as a love lost and dreams that never had chance to be. 

In the meantime you’ll always be my secret love and yet my greatest heartbreak. 

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