Archive | March 2017

Life lesson #1

Be the change you want in others

Do not point finger and place blame

Do not stress over what you have no control over 

Instead simply be the change you want in others 

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Life’s too short 

We all have a uniqueness about us that makes us extraordinary 

That in wake of our flaws cause us to shine brightest and ultimately sets apart from one another 

Why spend another moment pretending to be something your not?

Why not embrace yourself in its beautiful entirety?

Find your gifts 

Find your strength 

Find your love for yourself and watch how beautiful you become and how prosperous your growth is.

I just woke this morning filled with this beautiful message and I wanted to share this with everyone. 

I love you all, be loved and be blessed 

Advice to live by

Annoyance becomes a fondnessHate reveals deepest love 

Distance shows how much you want to reconnect 

And these things can easily be reversed 
The point is never stop being the person you both fell in love with
Learn to work on things as a team

It takes two
You can be lazy and lose it all or suck it up and make it work because there was a time you couldn’t stand to be a part and your heartbeats in sync
To wait until all is lost to realize what you had and too little too late to try and get that back
Your heart will tell you to say everything you never did and your mind realizing the folly of past actions will consign on all the shenanigans your heart drives you to do.
You find someone honest and loving do not lose it because a real genuine love literally comes once in a life time. 
Learn from the mistakes of the stupid, lost and lonely souls. Hold on to your happiness 

My language, translation included 

They say that knowing is half of the battle

but what exactly does that mean?

Every relationship, encounter or experience is an opportunity to learn and grow

I have learned that I am stubborn, passionate, vulnerable, flawed, hurt, damaged, strong willed and I am currently running on borrowed inner strength.

I have learned that I have a want to be loved and liked by those that matter, I love hard and I do everything in my power to show my love, I have abandonment issues, I am terrified that I won’t be able to have a family of my own one day, I am worried that marriage may not be an outcome for me and I wont find the person who deserves all of my love and what I have to offer.

I have learned that I have to be fearless in order to not have to face my fears.

I have learned that all of these things have come together inside of me and I have formed my own language.

My “I am fines, nothing is wrong,” is a cry for help and love

My saying I don’t want children is because its a lot easier than admitting that I may not have a say in the matter.

My saying that I am fine being a lone and relationships aren’t for everyone, and marriage is over rated is my way of saying that I am afraid that I may not find the one and I should get used to being alone.

Me choking on my emotions and telling people to stop being emotional is my way of saying, I have been hurt so many times that if I allow myself to feel in any capacity that it will overwhelm. I need to keep it bottled, I can’t allow myself to feel or grief.

I hurt so easily, I pretend nothing phases me but a lot hurts, a lot is chipping away at me; but I have to be strong, I have to be cool, I have to be that symbol of inspiration. I can’t let my friends and family see me being human…. being human is not a luxury afforded to me.

I have over time developed a complicated language layered in fears, insecurity and wrapped in pain, stamped damaged.

My biggest fear is not finding the one who can translate and understand

The one that is patient enough to kiss the stamp, see the pain and embrace me and once unwrapped get through the layers and find me at the center of the chaos, stand by me and love me all the more for what they have seen.

I don’t want to pretend anymore and I just want to be and let my guard down, I need to be human and know its ok.

Until then, I will wait ….for the one I feel safe enough around to take down my defenses, and let see the real me.