Tag Archive | happiness

Break it down 

Your amazing with words

Energy is so raw

Yea your cute 

But what else?

You talk a good game, you say the right things

But in the end you’re nothing but broken promises 

You remind a lot of my brother and I learned from him

He’s the best, spinning tales of fancy that call to your soul but in the end

Your left with nothing but disappointment, years wasted, broken heart in hand 

And a pocketful of shattered dreams 

The vacant spot that once housed your beating heart, is now filled with bitterness, anger and despair 

I have seen many on this path before and as you entered my life I saw that very same path laid before me, I look up and see your extended hand and the smile that hides many lies.

Yea you’ve told the truth, but only what would make you look better in my eyes.

Its clear the invitation laid before me 

It’s so tempting, the pleasure and promise of good times 

This offer comes with a pain that I am all too familiar with and as much as I’d like to go with the flow and get lost in you…..and this ….whatever this is

However it is true this path I have been on has been lonely at time, but I trust God to guide and continue to show me the way.

I know it’s not for everybody, but I can no longer abide and entertain those beneath me 

Should their toxic energy stunt my budding growth.

After all energy is contagious and mindsets addicting, what I need is those who’ll fan my flames that I can aspire to, on my personal journey in life.

Sadly you are not it, and with this realization,

I must respectfully decline, but know this my love for you unlike your words is real.

-love always 

HP

Hope

When we were together it was magic in its purest form

When we separated, it was devastating. The two of us lost our halves 

Our hearts ripped in two

Sure we stayed friends 

As time went on I met another, in that other I thought I was complete again

Your heart reached out to mine but my pain and immaturity pushed it away

And as time went on my other went away

Now the seasons changed and a new year dawns, the tables have turned and it is now you who have an other 

My heart screams to yours and every fiber of my being

But it is now I who needs to understand and respect and let this whatever it is be.

For if your truly meant to be, we will be.

Until then be happy, be loved it is the only solace I can find in all this pain.

The only hope I have is that you find happiness if not your way back to me.

It’s the only hope that’s left in me

Love always 

And I will forever be your 

Munchichi

Strange feelings

My eyes tear to think of you
Why?  When I hardly know you
Yeah we have spoken
And exchanged emotions
Shared moments
But our hearts are now
Adrift going opposite ways
This feeling inside, I cannot describe
What you need, what you crave
I haven’t to give
A love I have never known
And support I have never had
Where you go? Where your
Journey leads?  Excitement
And joy
Where mine leads? Has yet
To be seen.
I am grateful for what we had
And shared
I loved you,  not just the idea
But you in your entirety
Smile,  flaws, personality, laugh
And quirks.
Your truly a blessing and I hope
To never lose you.
Tears roll down my cheeks
As I say to myself it’s for the better
You will be alright
As will I.

There’s Insanity In Love.

I sit here tormented by my thoughts and selfish needs

I want you and only you

I spend my time thoughts filled and preoccupied as my body yearns for your touch and your warmth

The only happiness I have ever known in a long time

I cling to you, unintentionally smothering you

You push back, wounding me in the process

My mind is telling me to leave you be but my heart you see compells me otherwise

you push back harder and harder, your words become unsure and uncertain

I see what you refuse to

the two of us a drift on the tattered remains of our relationship

the distance growing with each passing moment

Unwanted, hurt, betrayed, rejected, and alone I lay at night

Betrayed because I am not enough, I cannot share the moments and thoughts with you

You need more, and at night you go out to get your fill

Here I lay trying not to smother you more than I have already done

Time passes

the thoughts of your absence and new found social life echoes in mind

depression and abandonment settles in

I act drastically

sure I have your attention now but at what price

the want, validation and attention I sought out i gained

but at what price

your hurt, irreparably so

What I once thought to be damaged was unharmed and stronger than ever

in my madness I took a sledge hammer to the walls and foundation of the house

that was once a beautiful metaphor for our relationship

and I alone single-handedly brought it to ruin

now here I stand in the wreckage

face stained with tears with one question in my mind

“was it all worth it?”

the answer

“no”

Nothing is worth the price of your happiness

It was i that betrayed, hurt and abandoned you

You tried your hardest and I repaid your attempts with betrayal and selfishness.

I can never apologize enough

You will always be too good for me.

I will never deserve you, the amazing man that you are

one should never treat a blessing so poorly.

I just hope one day you can forgive me

and that

one day we can return to what we once were.

-Hannah

“Being Girly”

So I was told I’m tomboyish and that I am too old to be this way. So I decided I would try some make up and you know tank tops and goodies vs gamer shirts and goodies;  lol baby steps.  52 hours of makeup tutorials and 186$ spent on eyeshadow palettes, foundation, lipstick and mascara and here is the end result.

image

Maybelline fit me foundation and translucent face powder, urban decay naked 2 pallet, smash box black cherry lipstick

It’s going to take some getting used to, being noticed and all. All and all I had fun,  and still thanking God that it came out so well. 15 minutes total to do 🙂