Tag Archive | honesty

Revolution 

Man can be exception but never the rule

So for those of you, like me seeking from them what’s missing within

I tell you this, that Road will lead to more pain than you’ll ever know

Because we are human and at the end of the day by definition flawed in every way

I say this with love, pain and tears I have shed along the way 

In hopes you’ll hear what it is I have to say

We are damaged and in ways that seem irreparable 

And that’s what this world will have believe and embrace making it our truth

But the truth is you have to wrestle the dark that once brought you false comfort 

In its cold embrace 

Break the chains binding you to the million pound weights that has kept you down

In self doubt and hate 

Afraid to love, building walls year in and year out with each betrayal 

It’s time to be free and love yourself in its entirety, be what you should be 

And not what this world wants you to be.

There’s a evil alive and fed in this world growing stronger everyday 

Its goal to snuff out the light…..the few that’s left in this world anyway 

Protect your light, protect yourself and don’t let the monster win

Don’t let the negativity and hate win, do not by consumed and join the Frey 

Be the trendsetter instead that lights the way

Helping the lost souls that cross your path, to find themselves the same way

Be patient because once we too was there

Love yourself, love those around you and never lose sight of your self. 

Since energy is contagious spread yours in hopes it’ll spark change 

Because at the end of the day 

Besides God, that’s all we have left anyway.

Be thankful for the good, bad, failures and successes 

Because at the end of it all we are still here today 

Stronger, smarter wiser in every way

I hope this message finds you well, and my love felt through these words.

I’m tired of building walls, no longer will I fear love, or be shamed for who I am.

I love me just the way I am.

What about you? 

Aren’t you ready for this change?

Break it down 

Your amazing with words

Energy is so raw

Yea your cute 

But what else?

You talk a good game, you say the right things

But in the end you’re nothing but broken promises 

You remind a lot of my brother and I learned from him

He’s the best, spinning tales of fancy that call to your soul but in the end

Your left with nothing but disappointment, years wasted, broken heart in hand 

And a pocketful of shattered dreams 

The vacant spot that once housed your beating heart, is now filled with bitterness, anger and despair 

I have seen many on this path before and as you entered my life I saw that very same path laid before me, I look up and see your extended hand and the smile that hides many lies.

Yea you’ve told the truth, but only what would make you look better in my eyes.

Its clear the invitation laid before me 

It’s so tempting, the pleasure and promise of good times 

This offer comes with a pain that I am all too familiar with and as much as I’d like to go with the flow and get lost in you…..and this ….whatever this is

However it is true this path I have been on has been lonely at time, but I trust God to guide and continue to show me the way.

I know it’s not for everybody, but I can no longer abide and entertain those beneath me 

Should their toxic energy stunt my budding growth.

After all energy is contagious and mindsets addicting, what I need is those who’ll fan my flames that I can aspire to, on my personal journey in life.

Sadly you are not it, and with this realization,

I must respectfully decline, but know this my love for you unlike your words is real.

-love always 

HP

Cleanse

You see me as this awesome person, whose hurt and damaged 

You don’t place blame on me like you should and think me to be perfect 

You praise me for the “awesome girlfriend ” you think I was

But you’ve got it all wrong

Yes I loved you, but I didn’t communicate with you 

I wasn’t very patient and offered little understanding 

The truth is 

You were too good for me and better than I ever deserved 

Maybe that’s why I lost you 

Maybe that’s why we weren’t forever 

Maybe that’s why I’m stuck in a series of shitty partners 

Maybe that’s why even though I know your happy a part of me weeps because in your happiness comes my loneliness 

I get it now

You are my forever and that means my punishment is being lonely 

Living out my days defined by my accomplishments 

I know now what the path is that lies before me

As usual I understand and accept….it’s what I do best

I just needed to cleanse myself of misconceptions and falsehoods and expose myself for what I know to be truth.

Maybe in another life I’m happy and positive and we actually get to be 

Because in this life the stars have not aligned for it to be so.

There’s Insanity In Love.

I sit here tormented by my thoughts and selfish needs

I want you and only you

I spend my time thoughts filled and preoccupied as my body yearns for your touch and your warmth

The only happiness I have ever known in a long time

I cling to you, unintentionally smothering you

You push back, wounding me in the process

My mind is telling me to leave you be but my heart you see compells me otherwise

you push back harder and harder, your words become unsure and uncertain

I see what you refuse to

the two of us a drift on the tattered remains of our relationship

the distance growing with each passing moment

Unwanted, hurt, betrayed, rejected, and alone I lay at night

Betrayed because I am not enough, I cannot share the moments and thoughts with you

You need more, and at night you go out to get your fill

Here I lay trying not to smother you more than I have already done

Time passes

the thoughts of your absence and new found social life echoes in mind

depression and abandonment settles in

I act drastically

sure I have your attention now but at what price

the want, validation and attention I sought out i gained

but at what price

your hurt, irreparably so

What I once thought to be damaged was unharmed and stronger than ever

in my madness I took a sledge hammer to the walls and foundation of the house

that was once a beautiful metaphor for our relationship

and I alone single-handedly brought it to ruin

now here I stand in the wreckage

face stained with tears with one question in my mind

“was it all worth it?”

the answer

“no”

Nothing is worth the price of your happiness

It was i that betrayed, hurt and abandoned you

You tried your hardest and I repaid your attempts with betrayal and selfishness.

I can never apologize enough

You will always be too good for me.

I will never deserve you, the amazing man that you are

one should never treat a blessing so poorly.

I just hope one day you can forgive me

and that

one day we can return to what we once were.

-Hannah

One day

One day I will have said my last hello and my very last goodbye

One day I will leave and it will be the last you ever  see of me
One day I will cease to exist to you,  no longer occupying a space in your world.

Where you ask?  I too wonder that
Maybe to another, or better yet the great beyond.

All I know is the pain has to stop, the stress is too much to bottle up.
I can no longer smile for your sake and say kind words to ease your guilt.

So please hear my words,  for this is my final fair well. With all the love this black hole of a heart can muster ……your
Friend
Family…..

Me.