Tag Archive | love

Calm 

Be the calm and never the storm

When you see your partner or friend

Stressing, be that calm and be that 

Comfort, be their idea of home and 

Safety and comfort 

Let go of petty behavior, step outside 

Of yourself and see what they are 

Going through and be there for them.

When we step outside of the house

It feels like the whole world is what 

We are up against, so be the support 

And the reinforcement 

Do not add to the numbers of people 

They have to fight and stress over 

The goal should always be to add to 

In a beneficial way and improve upon 

Moving forward.

Remembering Justin Johnson 

RIP I remember when your brother came to Gamestop and in asking about how your doing he told me you were no longer among the living It never fully registered in my mind that you were truly gone 

Until I saw your profile and went to add you as friend and my gaze met with the words “Remembering Justin Johnson ”

It hit me like a runaway freight train

Death being an eventuality for all of us is something I thought I understood 

Until today, when I realized This whole time I was hoping it was a hoax

This happens every time someone I know dies

I just can’t accept it….I know I still have growing up to do ><

I never got to say my goodbyes, we made plans to chill that never came to fruition and I know I’m late but I guess it’s better late than never

I hope your at peace and finally know happiness, at least I know your in a better place now.

We were best friends, schoolmates and the time we had together albeit brief will not be forgotten.
Love always 

Your friend 

Hannah Paul

Revolution 

Man can be exception but never the rule

So for those of you, like me seeking from them what’s missing within

I tell you this, that Road will lead to more pain than you’ll ever know

Because we are human and at the end of the day by definition flawed in every way

I say this with love, pain and tears I have shed along the way 

In hopes you’ll hear what it is I have to say

We are damaged and in ways that seem irreparable 

And that’s what this world will have believe and embrace making it our truth

But the truth is you have to wrestle the dark that once brought you false comfort 

In its cold embrace 

Break the chains binding you to the million pound weights that has kept you down

In self doubt and hate 

Afraid to love, building walls year in and year out with each betrayal 

It’s time to be free and love yourself in its entirety, be what you should be 

And not what this world wants you to be.

There’s a evil alive and fed in this world growing stronger everyday 

Its goal to snuff out the light…..the few that’s left in this world anyway 

Protect your light, protect yourself and don’t let the monster win

Don’t let the negativity and hate win, do not by consumed and join the Frey 

Be the trendsetter instead that lights the way

Helping the lost souls that cross your path, to find themselves the same way

Be patient because once we too was there

Love yourself, love those around you and never lose sight of your self. 

Since energy is contagious spread yours in hopes it’ll spark change 

Because at the end of the day 

Besides God, that’s all we have left anyway.

Be thankful for the good, bad, failures and successes 

Because at the end of it all we are still here today 

Stronger, smarter wiser in every way

I hope this message finds you well, and my love felt through these words.

I’m tired of building walls, no longer will I fear love, or be shamed for who I am.

I love me just the way I am.

What about you? 

Aren’t you ready for this change?

Break it down 

Your amazing with words

Energy is so raw

Yea your cute 

But what else?

You talk a good game, you say the right things

But in the end you’re nothing but broken promises 

You remind a lot of my brother and I learned from him

He’s the best, spinning tales of fancy that call to your soul but in the end

Your left with nothing but disappointment, years wasted, broken heart in hand 

And a pocketful of shattered dreams 

The vacant spot that once housed your beating heart, is now filled with bitterness, anger and despair 

I have seen many on this path before and as you entered my life I saw that very same path laid before me, I look up and see your extended hand and the smile that hides many lies.

Yea you’ve told the truth, but only what would make you look better in my eyes.

Its clear the invitation laid before me 

It’s so tempting, the pleasure and promise of good times 

This offer comes with a pain that I am all too familiar with and as much as I’d like to go with the flow and get lost in you…..and this ….whatever this is

However it is true this path I have been on has been lonely at time, but I trust God to guide and continue to show me the way.

I know it’s not for everybody, but I can no longer abide and entertain those beneath me 

Should their toxic energy stunt my budding growth.

After all energy is contagious and mindsets addicting, what I need is those who’ll fan my flames that I can aspire to, on my personal journey in life.

Sadly you are not it, and with this realization,

I must respectfully decline, but know this my love for you unlike your words is real.

-love always 

HP

Truth is 

So I’m not worth your time at my heaviest 
But I’m worth your time now that I’m slimmer 

I’m not as slim as your preference so you propose fuck buddy

I’m not yet beautiful enough to meet your standard of beauty 

I must have pathetic low self esteem cum dumpster written on my forehead

For you to think it alright to approach me this way 

Well the truth is at my worst I was way out of your league 

And now that I’m getting my shit together you aren’t even worth the courtesy of a response 

Much less the three minutes of sweat your advertising

The truth is I know my worth and my value and I shan’t be sharing any parts of my awesome 

with you.

So take my lack of response as the most respectful decline to your offer that I can muster.
To the fuckboy who messaged me

From Goddess Hannah 

Advice to live by

Annoyance becomes a fondnessHate reveals deepest love 

Distance shows how much you want to reconnect 

And these things can easily be reversed 
The point is never stop being the person you both fell in love with
Learn to work on things as a team

It takes two
You can be lazy and lose it all or suck it up and make it work because there was a time you couldn’t stand to be a part and your heartbeats in sync
To wait until all is lost to realize what you had and too little too late to try and get that back
Your heart will tell you to say everything you never did and your mind realizing the folly of past actions will consign on all the shenanigans your heart drives you to do.
You find someone honest and loving do not lose it because a real genuine love literally comes once in a life time. 
Learn from the mistakes of the stupid, lost and lonely souls. Hold on to your happiness 

My language, translation included 

They say that knowing is half of the battle

but what exactly does that mean?

Every relationship, encounter or experience is an opportunity to learn and grow

I have learned that I am stubborn, passionate, vulnerable, flawed, hurt, damaged, strong willed and I am currently running on borrowed inner strength.

I have learned that I have a want to be loved and liked by those that matter, I love hard and I do everything in my power to show my love, I have abandonment issues, I am terrified that I won’t be able to have a family of my own one day, I am worried that marriage may not be an outcome for me and I wont find the person who deserves all of my love and what I have to offer.

I have learned that I have to be fearless in order to not have to face my fears.

I have learned that all of these things have come together inside of me and I have formed my own language.

My “I am fines, nothing is wrong,” is a cry for help and love

My saying I don’t want children is because its a lot easier than admitting that I may not have a say in the matter.

My saying that I am fine being a lone and relationships aren’t for everyone, and marriage is over rated is my way of saying that I am afraid that I may not find the one and I should get used to being alone.

Me choking on my emotions and telling people to stop being emotional is my way of saying, I have been hurt so many times that if I allow myself to feel in any capacity that it will overwhelm. I need to keep it bottled, I can’t allow myself to feel or grief.

I hurt so easily, I pretend nothing phases me but a lot hurts, a lot is chipping away at me; but I have to be strong, I have to be cool, I have to be that symbol of inspiration. I can’t let my friends and family see me being human…. being human is not a luxury afforded to me.

I have over time developed a complicated language layered in fears, insecurity and wrapped in pain, stamped damaged.

My biggest fear is not finding the one who can translate and understand

The one that is patient enough to kiss the stamp, see the pain and embrace me and once unwrapped get through the layers and find me at the center of the chaos, stand by me and love me all the more for what they have seen.

I don’t want to pretend anymore and I just want to be and let my guard down, I need to be human and know its ok.

Until then, I will wait ….for the one I feel safe enough around to take down my defenses, and let see the real me.